Do I Have to Tell My Partner I Want an Abortion?

When dealing with an unplanned pregnancy, a significant stress factor may be sharing the news of your pregnancy with your partner. 

If you have decided that an abortion is the best choice, this may initially cause you more stress as you’re unsure whether or not he will agree with your decision.

Because it is your choice, it’s up to you how you choose to handle your pregnancy; however, there are ways you can navigate and share the news with confidence and empathy.

Are You Safe?

Before taking any further steps, think of your safety first.

Play through a scenario where you deliver the news and consider how your partner may react. Does he have a history of violent or harmful behavior? If so, plan on having a trusted friend present, or make sure you talk in a public setting. 

If you’re living with your partner, consider making other overnight housing arrangements before sharing the news if you’re unsure how he will react. 

While it’s best to tell him in person if possible, you can also discuss it over the phone if you’re worried about his reaction. Your safety takes precedence over anything else.

Is It the Right Time?

Now that you’ve made provisions for your safety, it’s also a wise idea to consider timing. 

There will never be a perfect time to deliver the news, but avoid telling him before you go somewhere, like to a party. He needs to process the information in an emotionally safe or private place. 

Give Everyone Time and Space

As a pregnant person, you do not have to legally get someone else’s permission to have an abortion, including your partner. 

However, as someone who is also involved in creating the pregnancy, be prepared for him to voice an opinion. Be willing to hear him out and be open to his input.

If you know you are safe, be prepared for a potentially emotional reaction to the news. It may take him some time to process his feelings. 

Be willing to converse with him and, if he has a differing opinion, have the facts and be prepared to answer his questions with how you came to your decision.

Make the Final Decision

Ultimately, your decision is the one that matters regarding the pregnancy, but both of you need to discuss your various options. 

Before fully committing to the termination, ensure that you’ve done all your research and discussed options with your partner, if possible. 

While abortion may seem the most convenient solution, try to work together through research and conversation, so you are both aligned on your decision.

Are you interested in more information about options and local resources? At First Coast Women’s Services, we provide options consultations where you can discuss your options and ask questions in a safe, confidential environment. 

We also offer no-cost limited ultrasounds to confirm your pregnancy, determine viability (if there is a heartbeat), and determine the location of the pregnancy. Schedule your appointment today and we can discuss abortion procedures, side effects, and potential risks.