These three words can hold a seemingly endless weight of emotions. From joy and relief for the husband who has been hoping for a baby to fear and anxiety for the boyfriend who was least expecting it.
Finding out your girlfriend or partner is unexpectedly pregnant can bring up feelings of worry and fear, along with endless questions, including, “What are we going to do with it?”
While unplanned pregnancies are, well, unplanned, it doesn’t mean you aren’t ready to be a father and support your girlfriend during this time. While you may find yourself ready and willing for this new season of life, while your girlfriend might have other plans.
Here are our tips on how to approach your girlfriend if she wants to have an abortion:
1. Show and communicate your support for her and the pregnancy
Unfortunately, many women who choose abortion do so because they feel like they have no other options. They often do not have the resources and support they need to feel confident as a parent.
You have an incredible opportunity to show and communicate your support to your girlfriend during this time. If you are hoping she will consider parenting or adoption it’s important that you remind her, with words and actions, you are there for her through the good and bad.
Everyone is unique, so there’s no one-size-fits-all way of showing support. However, you know your girlfriend better than almost anyone else, so think of ways to show support that will be meaningful to her.
2. Ask questions and listen well
If you’re feeling panicked that your girlfriend wants to have an abortion, you may be tempted to do a lot of talking and lecturing. Instead, take time to ask her questions and listen to her answers.
While this is a huge event in your life, it’s important to remember she is the one carrying the pregnancy and going through emotional and physical stress. Take time to ask her how she’s doing, what her concerns are, and how you can help during this time.
If she seems open to talking about her pregnancy options, consider asking what would need to happen in order for her to feel confident choosing to parent or place the child for adoption. Knowing the answers to these questions will help you know how to best support her and love her now and in the future.
3. Gather information on all of the pregnancy options available to you
One of the best ways for you and your girlfriend to make an informed choice for the pregnancy is to gather information on all of the options available.
Take time to learn about the resources and support available if you choose parenting and adoption. Educate yourself on the risks and side effects your girlfriend should consider before deciding if abortion is right for her.
There is so much information out there about your pregnancy options and it can be hard to find the resources relevant to you and your girlfriend. For free guidance on your options, visit your local pregnancy center to learn about the material services available in your community, information on all of the medical options, and the free pregnancy services we offer (including prenatal and pre-abortion screenings).
4. Encourage her to visit your local pregnancy clinic
It can be overwhelming to tackle this challenging topic on your own. Thankfully, you have the support of your local pregnancy clinic.
First Coast Women’s Services is here to help you and your girlfriend navigate this difficult decision by providing free pregnancy testing, limited ultrasounds, options counseling, and community referrals. We are here to help you and your girlfriend explore each option and make a choice for your pregnancy that you both feel confident about.
If your girlfriend is ready to visit us, you can schedule an appointment easily today!