Isn’t it nice to have options? When you only have one choice, you feel like someone else is deciding for you. With options, you can look at the pros and cons, and have the opportunity to choose what’s best for you. This is especially true when comparing different types of adoption.
You have choices for your unexpected pregnancy and one of those is making an adoption plan for your child. In fact, within the adoption process itself, you have choices! At a time when your life seems completely out of control, here’s your chance to be completely in charge.
Adoption is the legal process of transferring parental rights from a child’s birth family to an adoptive family. It isn’t co-parenting. Once your child is placed with an adoptive family, they’re responsible for raising your child. However, with adoption, you are always an important part of your child’s life story.
Why would you choose adoption?
Adoption, like all of your options, is a difficult decision to make. There are many things to consider. Here are some of the reasons to select this option:
- You feel you’re too young or too immature to parent a child.
- Currently, you’re in an unstable relationship that wouldn’t be healthy or safe for a child.
- The physical, emotional, and financial support you would need is not available.
- Your career or education is at a point where it would be difficult to continue while parenting.
Making an adoption plan
You may question how you could be pregnant for nine months only to place your baby in the hands of another family. When you are secure in your decision, it is possible. Not necessarily easy, but possible. You share the greatest gift one woman could ever give another.
As the birth mother, you are in complete control of the process. We will refer you to reputable agencies to work with. No agency, lawyer, or person should ever ask you to pay money to place your baby for adoption. Choose an agency you trust. Make sure they provide before, during, and after-adoption counseling and care.
The different types of adoption
There are essentially three types of adoption plans. No one plan is better than another. You choose the adoption plan that seems right to you.
Open adoption plan
Birth mothers choose open adoption because they want to have ongoing contact with the adoptive family and their child. With open adoption, you and the adoptive family exchange identifying information such as full names, addresses, phone numbers, and emails.
You arrange with the adoptive family you choose to exchange letters, emails, texts, or photos. It’s even possible to set up in-person meetings. Your child will grow up always knowing the important role you play in their life’s story.
Closed adoption plan
A closed adoption allows you to remain completely anonymous. You instruct your adoption coordinator to choose a family based on the guidelines you provide. You will not have contact with the family or your child. No identifying information would be shared. Some women feel this is the best way to move on with their lives.
Semi-open adoption plan
This plan is somewhere in between the first two types of adoption. You would choose the adoptive family, but you wouldn’t exchange any identifying information other than first names. All contact would be through a third party such as the adoption agency, lawyer, or your adoption coordinator. It’s a more private plan than an open adoption, but you would still have the opportunity to learn about your child as he or she grows.
How we can help you
Your adoption plan cannot be finalized until sometime after your child is born. You should never feel pressured to choose adoption. We’ll be happy to make referrals to agencies to help you get started, but we don’t handle adoptions ourselves.
Contact us to schedule your appointment. Let’s chat about all of your options!